Make It Your Best Thanksgiving Ever

I took the title of this column from a Martha Stewart Living Magazine. Before you get the wrong idea, I have to explain that I don’t read or watch Martha Stewart, Oprah or Paula Deen, but my wife does. We have these magazines lying around the house and it is difficult to ignore what is on the cover.

So there she was, Martha Stewart, offering a perfect piece of pie while smiling a perfect smile with perfect teeth, wearing a perfect dress with perfect hair, surrounded by a perfect kitchen with an open window that looked out on a perfect garden. Like Oprah and Paula, every wrinkle and excess pound had been photo-shopped away so that she looked decades younger than her actual age. And, over her head hung the words, “Make It Your Best Thanksgiving Ever.”

Unlike Martha, when we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner we must show up with wrinkles, warts and all. We look our age. The kitchen is a mess with spilled flour on the cabinet and sinks full of dirty dishes to be cleaned up afterward. The food, of course, is great because my wife is a great cook: baked turkey, mashed potatoes, giblet gravy, her famous dressing passed down from her mother, green beans, fruit salad, cranberry sauce, pumpkin, apple and pecan pie, for starters.

But, it occurred to me, when I saw that magazine cover of Martha Stewart, that Thanksgiving isn’t about the food or the perfect picture. Real Thanksgiving is about the heart. It is difficult for a heart that is not thankful every day to be truly thankful on Thanksgiving Day.

Which brings up another concern about this Thanksgiving. A few years ago the retail stores invented black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when one-day discounts lure mobs of hysterical shoppers into their stores before dawn. At first, I didn’t understand black Friday and, except for one occasion for which I repented, I have avoided it. But black Friday has begun to creep. This year, some stores are opening as early as 9 PM on Thanksgiving Day so that shoppers can shop all night. Really. Is this necessary?

The traditional American Thanksgiving was special because there was nothing commercial about it. All the stores were closed. Workers could spend the day with their families. No one had to shop for presents or send cards. All we had to do was enjoy getting together with those we love and be thankful. Even the homeless, the poor and prisoners could sit down to a good dinner. But, if black Friday continues to creep into Thanksgiving Thursday, our thankful memories of gathering around bountiful tables with family and friends might be replaced with frazzled memories of jostling strangers in the check-out line for the best deal.

I am ready to draw the line. I will concede black Friday in hopes it will pump life into our economy. But I hope we will make this Thanksgiving, and every Thanksgiving, the best ever by being truly thankful with those we love.

11-11-11

11-11-11, a unique date that occurs only once every century. Today, approximately fifty-seven thousand couples will tie the knot according to David’s Bridal, the nation’s largest bridal retailer. It is Veterans Day, a day to honor those who have served our country. At precisely 11 AM a wreath will be laid at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Cemetery. To previous generations, it was Armistice Day, commemorating the signing of the peace treaty between the Allies and Germany at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918.

It is a unique date to me for another reason. One hundred years ago today, November 11, 1911, William James Waters Harper and Fleta Hamilton stood before a Baptist minister near Hillsboro, Texas and repeated their vows. They had six children. One of those children, their fourth child, was my mother. Tomorrow more than fifty of their descendants will gather near Hillsboro to celebrate their one-hundredth anniversary.

Will Harper and his bride were “share croppers.” They never owned any land and had few possessions. They rented the black land that they farmed and prayed that it would rain. When it did, they harvested bumper crops of corn, maize and cotton and bought the things they needed and a few things they wanted. When it didn’t, they went in debt and stretched what little they had as far as it would go. They survived the Great Depression, two World Wars, raised a family and lived to see a man standing on the moon, (though they always doubted whether it was true). They started their marriage farming with mules and depending on a rickety windmill to water their stock. Fleta wrote a weekly column for the Itasca newspaper and served as mid-wife to the migrant workers who worked in their fields.

When we gather we will celebrate family, five generations of family in one room. Some of us will reflect on the first memories we shared as children. Some of us will introduce ourselves to one another for the first time. But we will all share the bond of family. No other social unit transcends the centuries and culture more than the family. No families are perfect, starting with Adam and Eve who suffered the tragic conflict between their sons. But the family has remained the essential unit for nurture, instruction, admonition and comfort. The Psalmist writes, “But He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction, and makes his families like a flock.” (Ps 107:41).

We will celebrate faith. Those who knew and remember Will and Fleta Harper remember them for their faith. Christ was at the center of their home and local preachers were often at their table. Most of their children and many of their descendants have lived faithful lives in service to Christ. They bequeathed to their family the great legacy the Apostle Paul cited when addressing his young student, Timothy: “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.” (2 Timothy 1:5).

11-11-11 will serve to remind us of those who have gone before: the veterans who gave their lives for our freedoms and the little known men and women, like my grandparents, who bequeathed to us the treasures of family and faith.

Life with Buddy

A couple years ago we adopted a dog. Well, I guess “I” adopted a dog. Across the years we had pets, mostly mutts and strays that wandered into our lives. They helped us raise our kids. After our kids left home, along with their pets, the house was quiet. I guess it was a little too quiet. I missed having a dog. Like the kids, I had to convince my wife that I would feed him and take care of him. She finally gave in.

We found Buddy, a Corgi rescue who was lost and starving on the streets of Fort Worth. When we first saw him he was skinny and sick, but we instantly liked him. He soon won my wife over and now he is “our” dog, healthy and happy. That was two years ago. Buddy and I have bonded. He goes with me just about everywhere I go. And, along the way, he is teaching me some things.

Buddy is teaching me to trust. Whenever I get in my truck he jumps in and takes his place, ready to go. He doesn’t know where we are going or what we are going to do. But he believes that if I am driving it is okay. I need to be more like that with God. I always want to know where we are going, when we are going to get there and what we are going to do once we arrive. I need to jump in the truck with God and give him control of my life.

Buddy wants to be with me. He doesn’t care if he is at the lake running, splashing and rolling in the mud, sitting in a chair next to me on the patio or in my study lying at my feet. He just wants to be where I am. He even follows me from room to room in the house. I need to spend time with God like that. What made the early disciples different was the fact that they lived with Jesus (Acts 4:13).

Buddy follows me. Whenever we go for a walk in an open field I let him run free. But he keeps an eye on me. He has developed a radius of his own, about thirty yards from wherever I am. Within that radius he feels comfortable exploring smells and marking trees. Occasionally he gets out of eyesight. But, when I call his name he comes running. Not real fast, but as fast as he can. After all he is a Corgi. It reminds me of what Jesus said to His disciples, “Come, follow me!” “My sheep know my voice.”

And, he is teaching me patience. He will wait on me forever. If I am writing, he lies down, rests his head on his paws, keeps one eye on me and waits. If we are walking and I stop, he sits down with his tongue hanging out and waits. If I go to the store in cool weather, he waits in my truck until I return. Buddy never complains about waiting on me. He never gets in a hurry. Maybe I should be more like that with respect to God and those I love.

When Things Go Clump

My cousin calls it “clumping:” those times when demands upon our life converge in a perfect storm. We face demands from employees, employers, clients and supervisors. We face demands from our family: marriages that need nurture; children who struggle with growth issues from the cradle to college; aging parents with failing health. Unexpected illness strikes us when we least expect it. “Clumping” times steal away our breath and rob us of our energy. Sleep is illusive, and, when it comes is often filled with restless nightmares of unfulfilled obligations.

Even Jesus experienced “clumping." As his fame spread, the demands made upon him multiplied. The Gospels say that he did not even have time to eat. At one point he was so exhausted that a life-threatening storm could not wake him. Thousands pressed in upon him from dawn to dusk seeking help. His own family rejected him. His closest followers disagreed with him. His enemies hounded him.

But in the midst of these demands Jesus always demonstrated a calm confidence and a quiet center. He refused to be hurried or harried. He never snapped back, never became irritable. And, in the end, he changed the world. No life has impacted the world more profoundly than Jesus.

What are the clues from Jesus that can help us when “clumping” strikes?

“Clumping” is temporary. The time when demands and crises seem overwhelming will ultimately pass. Jesus could face the overwhelming demands that fell upon him because he knew it was temporary. Hebrews says, “For the joy that was set before him he endured the cross.” Having learned this truth from Jesus, Peter wrote, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials.”(1 Peter 1:6-7)

Prepare for the “clumping” stages of life before they come. Life will “clump.” Jesus told the story of two men who built their houses, one upon sand and the other upon rock. When the storm came, which is inevitable, the house built on sand collapsed. If we continually practice honesty, goodness, generosity, forgiveness and faith when times are easy, we will be able to overcome when times get tough.

Build quiet space for prayer in the midst of life’s demands. Even though the demands upon Jesus were intense and unrelenting, he always found time to get alone with God. Mark writes, “In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. Simon and his companions searched for Him; they found Him, and said to Him, “Everyone is looking for You.” (Mark 1:35-36).

Constantly look to God. Perhaps this more than anything else was the secret of Jesus’ success. He said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.” (John 5:19).

Baseball

Okay, I am a baseball fan. I guess it started in Little League when I was ten years old. During the summer, I spent long hot afternoons shagging worn out baseballs wrapped with black electric tape and slugging with cracked bats that were held together by wood screws. On Saturdays, I tuned in to Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese for the game of the week.

A few weeks ago I returned to my hometown to play in a softball game with my classmates from ’65. We are all in our mid-sixties, some are already on Medicare. I played first base and the old adrenaline showed up. We even turned a double play, which is not as difficult as it used to be since it takes so long for the runner to reach first. You can drop the ball, kick it and even roll it to first base and have a chance of getting the batter out.

When Josh Hamilton hit thirty-five home-runs in the home-run derby a couple years ago, my mother claimed him as family: “Maybe a long lost cousin,” she said, since her mother’s maiden name was Hamilton. My mother was a baseball fan. She almost never missed a televised Rangers game, even when they were on the west coast and played until 2 AM. When her vision started to fail, she chose to have cataract surgery so she could watch the game. Last year, before she died at 89, she cheered them through their first World Series.

So, I’ve been glued to the World Series this week pulling for the Rangers. I like watching them, not just for the baseball, but for the personal stories. Everyone, I guess, knows Josh Hamilton’s story, a top drafted player who hit the skids due to drugs and alcohol, then, through a faith experience with Christ and his grandmother’s love, made a comeback to major league stardom. In a way, Hamilton represents everyone who struggles with addictions and weaknesses. He says his last relapse started with the thought, “Maybe I can just drink one.” Of course, that is the way our sins always start. He learned something along the way as a follower of Jesus that has made the difference. He immediately confessed it where it needed to be confessed, to his family and to his employers

I like the way Hamilton’s teammates responded. Ian Kinsler said, “We don’t need an apology. That’s his battle. We’re here to be his friend and love him as a teammate.” It sounds a lot like the way Jesus wants His churches to work. I suppose it was the way Peter’ s friends responded when he told them about denying Jesus at the trial.

Not long ago, I picked up Mickey Mantle’s autobiography at a used books store in Terrell. According to Mantle, he always struggled with excessive drinking. Mantle did not grow up in church. He attended prayer meetings convened by his teammate Bobby Richardson for a while, but never learned “church speak.” He concludes his story by saying, “I guess we are all on the same team now … it’s even like Casey [Stengel] is running it. I might not know what he is saying all the time, but if he tells me to bunt, I’m going to bunt. If he tells me to swing away, I’m going for the fences.” The Christian life is a lot like that. We just need to listen to God like The Mick listened to Casey.

Poverty and Wealth

Last weekend, demonstrators gathered in the public squares of New York, Chicago, London, Rome, Sydney, Tokyo, and Hong Kong, among others. The demonstrations spread across Europe, Asia and the Americas. Their protests were varied, sometimes promoting views in opposition to one another. But, according to the New York Times, “the protests were united in frustration around one issue: the widening gap between the rich and the poor.” The phenomenon is global.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the U.S. poverty rate grew to 15.1% in 2010, the third year in a row the poverty population has risen while median household income has declined. At the same time, the wealthy are becoming wealthier. According to Terry Clower, Economist at the University of North Texas, “Over the past 30 years, the share of household income going to the well-to-do has risen dramatically.” Edward Wolff, economist at NYU, stated, “The Great Recession has exacerbated wealth divisions in this country, with the wealthy share of the top 1 percent rising from an already huge 34.6 percent in 2007 to 37.1 percent in 2009.” When the rich get richer while more people drop beneath the poverty line and the middle class continues to shrink, something is askew.

Compounding the unrest are the frustrations created by the Great Recession. Thousands of young people signed up for student loans to pursue educations that would open doors for well-paying careers. When they graduated from colleges and universities in 2008, the jobs weren’t there. They still aren’t. For more than two years many have worked in menial and minimum wage jobs that they could have had in high school. Older adults who intended to work into their sixties and seventies have been forced into early retirement with limited income.

The Bible is clear that God is concerned about the issue of poverty and wealth. David wrote, “I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor.” (Ps. 140:12). Solomon said, “He who oppresses the poor to make more for himself … will only come to poverty.” (Prov.22:16). “The righteous is concerned for the rights of the poor, The wicked does not understand such concern.” (Prov. 29:7). Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed.” (Luke 4:18).

There is wide disagreement regarding the complexities of economics and economies, the balance between equity and efficiency. But the bedrock principles that will ultimately see us through never change: integrity, honesty, generosity and justice. Even Gordon Gekko had to learn that greed is not God.

When We Die

When Steve Jobs died October 5 at the age of 56, we all paused to reflect. He had resigned just six weeks earlier as CEO of Apple. Few people changed the landscape of our lives as much as Steve Jobs. His user-friendly computing innovations including the iPod, iPhone and iPad transformed the way we live. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer eight years ago, he addressed his own mortality in a commencement speech at Stanford:

“No one wants to die,” he said. “Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

Death is inevitable. But what happens after we die? The book of Job asked the question we all ask sooner or later: “If a man die, shall he live again?” After years of suffering and serious arguments with his friends and with God, Job emerged with a powerful conclusion. “I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. and after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! “ (Job 19:25-27).

The issue of life after death is central to the Christian faith. While most people believe that some kind of life exists after we die, Jesus provides the only verifiable evidence of life beyond the grave. Each of the Gospels gives an eyewitness account of Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection. Luke says, “After his suffering, he presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God.” (Acts 1:3).

The Apostle Paul wrote, “The first thing I did was place before you what was placed so emphatically before me: that the Messiah died for our sins, exactly as Scripture tells it; that he was buried; that he was raised from death on the third day, again exactly as Scripture says; that he presented himself alive to Peter, then to his closest followers, and later to more than five hundred of his followers all at the same time, most of them still around (although a few have since died); that he then spent time with James and the rest of those he commissioned to represent him; and that he finally presented himself alive to me.” (1 Corinthians 15:3-8 The Message).

Jesus promised something far better for us when we are “cleared away” by death’s inevitability. He said, “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:1-3).