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"Thank you for the words of wisdom in today’s Abilene Reporter News. In the midst of wars violence and pandemics, your words were so soft spoken and calming."

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Raising Children Celebrating Family

 We just returned from a 4-day Bahama cruise with all our children and grandchildren, seventeen of us, a gift from our children on my wife’s 75th birthday. The joy of multiple generations who treasure and value one another is inexpressible. In all generations and cultures, it is the family that forms the foundation for fulfillment. My wife and I were overwhelmed, not just that our children wanted to express their love for us, but that they love each other and want to be together.

 Over the years we learned that nothing is as challenging as being a parent.  Children have no off button.  They cannot be put in the closet like clothes, turned off and parked like cars or placed in a kennel like pets.  They are on a constant quest: poking, prodding, pushing, pulling and climbing. 

 When our children were little, we didn’t know you could strap them down in the back seat. No one told us about car seats. As soon as they got in the car, they looked for buttons to push and knobs to twist.  When I turned on the key the blinkers blinked, windshield wipers wiped, and the radio blared.

 They grew up to be responsible adults.  But the path wasn’t easy.  Every passage brought new challenges: the first day of school, a move from familiar neighborhoods to a new city, puberty, a driver’s license, dating, computer games, technology, college and a career.  Parenting requires a constant learning curve that never stops, even after children are grown and on their own.  Relationships constantly change and adjust. As a parent, you are always entering new and unfamiliar territory.

 I found across the years that there is no “fix it” book for parenting, no “cure-all,” “read this,” or “do this” simple solution.  Every child is different, and every parenting situation has its unique challenges.  But there are some essential tools that make the difference: patience, consistency, authenticity, trust, love, faith, and a listening ear.  Most of us don’t come naturally equipped with these essential tools.  Most of us must learn them and acquire them while we are on the job. And all of us have room for improvement.

 The Bible says that John the Baptist introduced Jesus to the world by “turning the hearts of the fathers to their children,” (Luke 1:17).  Every generation must struggle against the natural desires of the flesh: envy, jealousy, resentment, anger and self indulgence. These attitudes destroy the family. The fruits of the spirit, on the other hand, establish the family: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” (Galatians 5:22-23).

 When our hearts are right with God so that we are producing these fruits, we will be good parents.  Then we will be able to fulfill the Scripture’s instruction, “Do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the teaching and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).